<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>I do not want to fuck, y'ken? By Dr. Basher by BadgerBasher</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26151007">I do not want to fuck, y'ken? By Dr. Basher</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadgerBasher/pseuds/BadgerBasher'>BadgerBasher</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Comedy of Assholes, Dragon Age II</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dr Seuss, F/M, Implied shaggery, Sorry Not Sorry, bad rhyming</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:01:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>767</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26151007</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadgerBasher/pseuds/BadgerBasher</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A sheaf of paper, shoved into a book, and left on a shelf in the Amell estate. Submitted to the Gazette on a whim.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Isabela/Sebastian Vael</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Kirkwall Gazette: Page Six</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I do not want to fuck, y'ken? By Dr. Basher</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Earlgreyer/gifts">Earlgreyer</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That 'Bela-hen,<br/>that 'Bela-hen<br/>I do not like<br/>that 'Bela-hen.</p>
<p>Would you like to fuck me, then?</p>
<p>I would not fuck you,<br/>this again.<br/>I do not want<br/>to fuck, y'ken?</p>
<p>Would you fuck me here or there?</p>
<p>I would not fuck you <br/>here or there.<br/>I would not fuck you<br/>anywhere. <br/>I do not want <br/>to fuck, y'ken?<br/>I do not want to,<br/>'Bela-hen</p>
<p>Would you fuck me in a house? <br/>Would you fuck me with a mouse?</p>
<p>I would not fuck you<br/>in a house.<br/>I would not fuck you<br/>with a mouse.<br/>I would not fuck you<br/>here or there.<br/>I would not fuck you<br/>anywhere.<br/>I do not want<br/>to fuck, y'ken?<br/>I do not want to,<br/>'Bela-hen.</p>
<p>Would you fuck me in a box? <br/>Would you fuck me with a fox?</p>
<p>Not in a box.<br/>Not with a fox.<br/>Not in a house. <br/>Not with a mouse. <br/>I would not fuck you<br/>here or there.<br/>I would not fuck you<br/>anywhere. <br/>I would notfuck you, 'Bela-hen. <br/>I do not want to fuck, y'ken?</p>
<p>Would you? Could you?<br/>In a bar? <br/>Fuck me! Fuck me! <br/>Where we are.</p>
<p>I would not, <br/>could not,<br/>in a bar.</p>
<p>You may want to. <br/>You will see. <br/>You may want me in a tree!</p>
<p>I would not, could not in a tree.<br/>Not in a bar! You let me be.<br/>I will not fuck you in a box.<br/>I will not fuck you with a fox.<br/>I will not fuck you in a house.<br/>I will not fuck you with a mouse.<br/>I will not fuck you here or there. <br/>I will not fuck you anywhere.<br/>I do not want to fuck, y'ken?<br/>I do not want to, 'Bela-hen.</p>
<p>A chair! A chair!<br/>A chair! A chair!<br/>Could you, would you, <br/>on a chair?</p>
<p>Not on a chair! Not in a tree! <br/>Not in a bar! 'Bela! Let me be!</p>
<p>I would not, could not, in a box.<br/>I could not, would not, with a fox.<br/>I will not fuck you with a mouse.<br/>I will not fuck you in a house.<br/>I will not fuck you here or there. <br/>I will not fuck you anywhere.<br/>I will not fuck you, 'Bela-hen.<br/>I do not want to fuck, y'ken?</p>
<p>Say!<br/>In the dark?<br/>Here in the dark!<br/>Would you, could you, in the dark?</p>
<p>I would not, could not, in the dark.</p>
<p>Would you, could you, at the fair?</p>
<p>I would not, could not, at the fair.<br/>Not in the dark. Not on a chair.<br/>Not in a bar. Not in a tree.<br/>I do not want to, 'Bela, see.<br/>Not in a house. Not in a box.<br/>Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.<br/>I will not fuck you here or there.<br/>I will not fuck you anywhere!</p>
<p>You do not want to fuck me, then?</p>
<p>I do not want to, 'Bela-hen.</p>
<p>Could you, would you, with a goat?</p>
<p>I would not,<br/>could not,<br/>with a goat!</p>
<p>Would you, could you, on a boat?</p>
<p>I could not, would not, on a boat.<br/>I will not, will not, with a goat.<br/>I will not fuck you at the fair.<br/>I will not fuck you on a chair.<br/>Not in the dark! Not in a tree!<br/>Not in a bar! You let me be! <br/>I will not fuck you in a box. <br/>I will not fuck you with a fox.<br/>I will not fuck you in a house. <br/>I do not want to, with a mouse. <br/>I will not fuck you here or there. <br/>I will not fuck you ANYWHERE!</p>
<p>I do not want to, 'Bela-hen!<br/>I do not want to, fuck, y'ken?</p>
<p>You do not want to.<br/>So you say. <br/>Try it! Try it! <br/>And you may. <br/>Try it and you may, I say.</p>
<p>'Bela!<br/>If you will let me be,<br/>I will fuck you.<br/>You will see.</p>
<p>'Bela!<br/>I find I want to fuck!<br/>I do! I want to, 'Bela-hen!</p>
<p>And I would fuck you in a boat.<br/>And I would fuck you with a goat …</p>
<p>And I will fuck you at the fair.<br/>And in the dark. And on a chair.<br/>And in a bar. And in a tree.<br/>It is so good, so good, you see!<br/>So I will fuck you in a box. <br/>And I will fuck you with a fox.<br/>And I will fuck you in a house. <br/>And I will fuck you with a mouse.<br/>And I will fuck you here or there. <br/>I will fuck you ANYWHERE!</p>
<p>I do so love to fuck, y'ken? <br/>Thank you! Thank you, 'Bela-hen!</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>